02 March 2013

Sex, Love, and Lust: Some Quotes

As love, latent in the universe, goes through the early, almost unconscious stages of the various kingdoms, it gradually makes its
appearance as lust in the animal kingdom. Its appearance in human
consciousness is initially also in the form of lust. Lust is the most limited form of love in human consciousness. In spite of the clear reference lust has to other persons, it is indistinguishable from undiluted selfishness, because all the objects lust clings to are desired for the sake of and from the viewpoint of the limited and separate self. At the same time, it is a form of love because it has in it some kind of appreciation for others, though this appreciation is
completely vitiated by thick ignorance about the true Self.
— Meher Baba, “God as Infinite Love,” Discourses (7th ed.), pp. 399-400

When human consciousness is completely caught up in the duality of the gross sphere of existence, love cannot express itself as anything other than lust of some type. One may like curry because it tickles one’s palate. There are no higher considerations, so it is a form of lust. It is only a craving for the sensations of taste. Mind also has cravings for the bodily sensations of sight, smell, sound, and touch; and it nourishes its crude ego-life through the excitement derived from these sensations. Lust of every type is an entanglement with gross forms, independent of the spirit behind them. It is an expression of mere attachment to sensual objects.
— Meher Baba, “God as Infinite Love,” Discourses (7th ed.), p. 400

If you love the whole world you vicariously live in the whole world, but in lust there is an ebbing down of life and a general sense of hopeless dependence upon a form which is regarded as another. Thus, in lust there is the accentuation of separateness and suffering, but in love there is the feeling of unity and joy. Lust is dissipation, love is recreation. Lust is a craving of the senses, love is the expression of the spirit. Lust seeks fulfillment but love experiences fulfillment. In lust there is excitement, but in love there is tranquility.
Meher Baba, Discourses (6th ed.), vol. 1, p. 160

One day the subject of the conversation drifted to lust. Baba said. “Lust means a craze. Some have the lust for power, some, lust of the senses, etc. The whole creation came out of lust. The first whim was lustful. God had intercourse with Himself through the Om Point, and the creation was the result of this act.” He then asked me whether a mother’s love for her child is really love or lust I said, “Love.” Baba then explained, “No, even a mother’s love for her child is lust. Because in love there can never be satisfaction; there is a continual longing and agony till union occurs. In lust there is satisfaction for some time and then again dissatisfaction. The mother is satisfied as soon as the child is quiet and sleeping and she gets busy with her other work. This satisfaction and non-satisfaction of the mother with regard to her child is a sign of lust.”  
—“Incidents at Poona—1960” by Dr. H. Bharucha, The Awakener Magazine, vol. 22, no. 1 (1986): 40, 66

At one point, while explaining about the purpose of the human form, Baba made this revealing remark about the nature of sex: “The original human form was never formed to beget children. This tendency among people to cohabit is nothing but animal instinct inherited from all the previous lives of evolution from the stone to the human form.”
Lord Meher

Nowadays even lust is taken as love, a subtle difference. There is a very subtle difference between love and lust, but quite clear. They are two different things. You love rice and curry. This is lust. You love a cigar — lust again. You love curry and eat it, but do not give anything by the act. You finish the Beloved.
        —Meher Baba, talk at Manzil Bungalow, Nasik, February 9, 1937, The Awakener Magazine, vol. 16, no. 2 (1976): 41

Baba described to us the different types of love, how even greed and lust are forms of love. But there is irony inherent in these lower forms of love, for when we chase after or try to possess something we are in fact possessed by it, and bound by a feeling of separateness from it. But in real love, Divine Love, when we offer ourselves unconditionally to our Beloved, we find that in the very act of giving we have included the Beloved in ourselves, and in Him we gain everything.
—Meherjee Karkaria, “How to Love Baba,” The Awakener Magazine, vol. 19, no. 2 (1981): 6

When your love for me drives away your lust for the things of the senses, then you realize Me.
— Meher Baba, “Twelve Ways of Realizing Me”

“Baba has said that the stronger love pulls you away from the lesser love. That does not mean that the lesser love has diminished. In the end, if you stick it out, Baba gives you something much greater than you ever imagined. But first you have to go through the karmic action that you yourself started.
. . . Baba had freed me to a great extent from the bondage of sex, not that He has eliminated sex attraction, but more that He has delivered me from slavery to it.”
        Bili Eaton, A Love So Amazing 

The Opposites

       Evolutionary illusion or illusory evolution has to proceed through apparently incompatible opposites such as pleasure and pain, vice and virtue, success and failure. Of the many pairs of opposites, the pair which needs especial mention and consideration is that of man and woman. Male and female human forms are rightly described as opposite sexes. Progressive realization of the adequate forms, the continuation of the species, and the onward march of the incarnated lifestream are dependent upon the opposition and interplay of the sexes, particularly at the higher phases of biological evolution. This is equally true of psychological and spiritual evolution as long as it is held up in the domain of illusion. The opposition of sexes and the alternative attempts to overcome or reconcile this opposition are admittedly a source of inspiration, sublimation and exasperation, which haunt the interplay of sex opposites at the psychic level until they are withstood or understood fully and adequately.
One special feature of the sex opposites is that while remaining in counterbalancing opposition to each other, they are more patently and firmly tethered to each other than many other opposites. A man who is conscious of himself as a male is at the same time conscious of woman as a female; and the tension of the felt duality is on him a constant burden, which he often invisibly passes on to a member of the opposite sex. The same is true of a woman who is particularly conscious of herself as a female. The opposites create and sustain a burdensome illusion which is transferred to each other. And if this illusion is shared by both, it goes on increasing in geometrical proportion instead of being mitigated in any way. On the other hand, the disburdening of the illusory and oppositional duality of sex is also a self-communicative understanding. Then love is gradually freed from the tinge of differentiative sex consciousness, and understanding is lifted out of the obsessiveness of one of the most oppressive forms of duality.
—Meher Baba, Beams, pp. 62-64

Overcoming Duality

       Sex is a manifestation of the ignorant attempt the conscious mind makes to compensate for the fragmentation entailed in identification with the sex of the body. This attempt to compensate for fragmentation is doomed to be futile, however, because it is not only based upon identification with the body but actually accentuates it by setting into opposition the body of the opposite sex and getting entangled with it through attachment and possessiveness.
When the soul is trying to overcome sexual duality through detachment from the opposite sex, it is paving a way for understanding the experience associated with the opposite sex from within. Then a man tries to understand a woman, not through the eyes of the male, but through the imaginative reaching out toward what the woman feels herself to be, in her own personal experience. In the same way, a woman then tries to understand a man, not through the eyes of the female, but through the imaginative reaching out toward what a man feels himself to be, in his own personal experience. So, paradoxical though it may seem, the form of the opposite sex prevents the true understanding of experience associated with the opposite sex. Detachment from the form of the opposite sex facilitates true understanding of the experience associated with the opposite sex because it removes the barrier created by sex-obsessed imagination.
—Meher Baba, “Reincarnation and Karma: V,” Discourses (7th ed.) p. 325

Meher Baba’s Instructions to his men Mandali (disciples)
October 1929, Isfahan, Persia

        Lust is not bad. Because of this lust, you have been born as human beings. It is due to this very lust that you will turn from men into God. But even if lust is there in you, don't put it into action. From the spiritual point of view, lust is the worst possible weakness. The real hero is he who successfully fights it.
Fornicating with a woman who isn't your wife is one of the worst possible sins. What had to happen has happened; but from now on, beware of carnality. Follow my orders and stay away from lust. What lasting pleasure can one derive from such stinking parts? It can destroy your spirit and character, as well as infect the body.
I know each and every thing, but knowing everything, I keep on watching. Perhaps you might think, 'Why doesn't Baba save us from committing sins, despite knowing everything?' Before you do any wrong action, I already know that you are going to do it. Then why do I not prevent you? It is my secret.
The secret of my work is, though I know everything, I do not interfere. The fact is, you should have this lust, but you should do your utmost not to fall prey to it. You should put up a fierce fight, and though defeated a thousand times, you should again be ready to continue to fight the lust.
Were I to wish it, I could destroy the lust in you in no time. But what would be the use of destroying it? Inevitably I will destroy it. In the meantime, continue on with the battle inside yourselves. This is the law. It is necessary. Then joy will come in defeating lust. Without a struggle, there is no pleasure in fighting. The real pleasure lies in success after so many defeats. Wars won without obstacles, without sacrifices and untiring effort afford no pleasure. This should be a life and death fight. Lust is there to be fought. It is a lifelong struggle. It will be a conflict in you till the end of your days. It should be there to fight you, and you should always be alert and ready for battle, to kill.
He who has love for and faith in me will try doubly hard to obey me. If you touch any woman, tell me immediately; this is one remedy. Another is to think that in your last birth you were a woman and had connections with a man; now you are a man and you want connections with a woman. You have had enough satisfaction in previous births. What is to be had by more lust?
Foremost you should try to get rid of lust, as all other vices are on account of it. For instance, if a parrot's throat is cut, it dies. But if its wings are clipped, it does not die; after some time the feathers of the wings grow back. Lust can be compared to the parrot's head. Therefore when lust is still present and we conquer other evils, such as anger, the evils again revive - everything rises out of the head. But if lust is killed once and for all, every other evil is also destroyed. You have to cut off its head.
Yet in truth, lust is necessary for evolution. It starts developing in the vegetable forms. With the increase in lust, there is advancement in evolution, since lust means energy. And with the increase in energy, consciousness expands.
But these are points on this path which you will never understand. There are thousands of points thinner than hair. Remember, it is no easy thing to eradicate sanskaras gathered during birth after birth, and lust is the hardest of all sanskaras. But be heroes and fight lust; you will defeat it. The real pleasure is to fight it and not succumb to it. Knowing this, I let it remain, but I will destroy it in you when the right time comes. Until then, go on fighting, and never give up.
—Meher Baba, in Lord Meher 4: 1232-33


Love as it is generally known and commonly understood is but an attachment with selfish thoughts and motives involved.
Pure, real unadulterated Love has in it not even a tinge of lust. Lust for sex, lust for power, lust for name, lust for fame, lust for self-comforts defile the purity of Love.
Pure, real Love has also its stages, the highest being the gift of God to love Him.
When one truly loves God, one longs for union with Him, and this supreme longing is based on the desire of giving up one's whole being to the Beloved.
When one loves a Perfect Master, one longs to serve Him, to surrender to His Will, to obey Him wholeheartedly.
Thus pure, real Love longs to give and does not ask for anything in return.
Even when one truly loves humanity, one longs to give one's all for its happiness. When one truly loves one's country, there is the longing to sacrifice ones very life, without seeking reward and without the least thought of having loved and served. When one truly loves one's friends, there is the longing to help them without making them feel under the least obligation. When truly loving one's enemies, one longs to make them friends. True love for one's parents or family makes one long to give them every comfort at the cost of one's own.
Thought of self is always absent in the different longings connected with the various stages of pure, real love; a single thought of self would be love adulterated.
—“The Twelve Birthday Messages of Meher Baba” (given out during his mass darshan tour of February 1954), The Awakener Magazine, vol. 1, no. 4 (1954): 4

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All quotes of Meher Baba © Avatar Meher Baba Perpetual Public Charitable Trust unless otherwise indicated. Writings by Kendra are © Kendra Crossen Burroughs unless otherwise noted.